Me: Did you know that one study of thumb-sucking suggests that as many as 94% of infants drop the habit by their first birthday? What do you think it means that Tres has started to suck her thumb at 11 months? Is this going to be like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and she’ll start regressing and then die in a year?
Uno: Mommy, can we watch Shevan O’Knighty (a.k.a Evan Almighty)?
Dos: This car is bigger than God. When I die I’m gonna get to heaven.
Uno: When we get home you’re going to get spankings.
Me: Uno, stop talking about spankings, no one is going to get spankings.
Uno: I can speak in Spanish.
Dos: Me, too! I’ve been to Charna, too!
Uno: Is that Chiclets you’re eating?
Dos: I can eat Chiclets.
Friend who shall not be named: Can you sing Jesus Loves Me in Spanish?
Dos: I can sing! (Begins to croon with gusto)
Uno: No, I can sing Party! Go! in Spanish. Andele! Andele!