Wednesday, November 2, 2011

This Is A Story About Worms

“All you have to say is: this is a story about worms.”

So. This is a story about worms.

I spent most of the day on the phone because I have a deeply-seated desire to have a polka-dotted pattern across my ear lobe.

Not really, it just seemed everyone I wanted to talk to was long distance. I wore my cell phone battery out twice. I’m an overachiever like that.

So, I have to admit that I put a movie on for the ruffians to watch while I hid in the bathroom to have my conversations.

It’s not a proud moment, but I bet I’m not the only mother who has hidden behind a shower curtain in an attempt to evade the search and destroy team of their children.

I talked and talked and talked and talked and when I finished I found out the movie had ended and the t.v. had gone back to its regularly scheduled programs.

The channel: TLC.

The show: Something about unexplained medical mysteries.

Let me take a moment to state that, with a few exceptions, TLC is not an appropriate channel for the preschool demographic.

While I love me some 19 Kids and Counting and Jon and Kate plus Eight (of the past) just as much as the next mama, and What Not To Wear and Say Yes To The Dress are pretty innocuous, there are also the shows that are just a little too, ahem, real.

Which is why my friend’s six-year-old can tell you every single thing about the birthing process and when I say “every single thing” I mean every single thing. They’ve watched one Baby Story too many.

So, today my kiddos learned about worms.

Specifically about worms that were living under the skin of some unfortunate lady.

From what Uno tells me, this woman was attached to her worms and called them her friends.

“She loved the worms!” Uno said, with a gleam in her eye and dimple showing. She’s lisping a little bit because she’s missing her front teeth. “She even named them!”

Uno continued to give me the gory details of the doctor who was shocked to see a worm wiggle away from his inspection and how he caught it and “pulled out a worm, it was like five inches or something!”

“And the lady, she kept yelling, ‘My friends! My friends!’ and then, do you know what she did then?!”

Uno was intense in her retelling.

I said no.

“She said, ‘Those worms need DIRT! Give ‘em dirt!’.” This was the climax of the story. I laughed out loud as I rued the knowledge my kids have been exposed to a show I would NOT normally ok for them because I’d been hiding in the shower.

I told Uno I was going to write about the worms and her excitement over the t.v. in this post.

She nodded in approval and held up her finger as I got off the sofa to find my computer and start typing.

“Remember, Mommy, all you have to say is: This is a story about worms.”

So that’s what I’ve done. Hope you liked our story about worms.

What are your favorite TLC programs? Have you ever had a similar experience?

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